(minor spoilery if you haven't played Assassin's Creed 2)

Whoo, my computer took a long time to update! I finished up the main storyline in Assassin's Creed 2 while the thing was updating, and since my SO is already in bed, I am going to bother the internet by yammering about the game.

First, the voice acting? Atrocious. The modern voices weren't bad, but let's talk about Ezio. I don't know who decided that the best way to create an immersive experience was to have all the actors in his timeline do Terrible Italian Accents, but hoooooly moly. Not to mention that Ezio, god bless him, is kind of a moron, so not only were the words coming out of his mouth stupid, they were said stupidly to boot.

Don't get me wrong--I totally loved the game, and I can't wait for the sequel. I'm still on the fence regarding the goofy frame story, although any time they forced me to leave Ezio's timeline and dick around in the modern timeline was seriously annoying. I AM HERE TO PARKOUR AND STAB DUDES IN THE THROAT. DON'T MAKE ME SPEND TEN MINUTES FINDING SECURITY ALARMS IN YOUR STUPID WAREHOUSE, GIRL-WHOSE-SHIRT-DOESN'T-FIT-RIGHT.

The ending was kind of anti-climactic, again owing to the goofy frame story. I feel bad that Ezio doesn't get any closure--his story just abruptly ends. Haha, Ezio, you're the prophet! Now fuck off while Space Minerva talks to our boring be-hoodied modern incarnation. I'm also bummed that, while you can continue to run around even after you've beaten the game, you don't get to talk to Leonardo anymore. He was our only true friend, aside from that creepy thief who spent way too much time with the hookers. And speaking of Leonardo, what the hell was he doing in our house at the end of the game? If Ezio weren't Captain Heterosexual, I'd swear Leonardo was our boyfriend.

Most of the challenges were lots of fun, with the exception of Carnivale (ARRGH) and the "carry the box" quest, the former being irritating and the latter being just dumb. I'm a freaking assassin, why am I carrying boxes and trying to avoid idiots with other boxes who want to walk into me? And as an aside, why was it that most of my targets could outrun me? The little guys, okay, I can see how the terror of death could light a fire under their asses. But I call foul on the big fat dudes who ran like Olympic sprinters. I've spent the last ten years climbing buildings! I should be able to chase down a fat old man!

I'd like to end with a quick shout out to the citizens of Florence: Sorry I kept killing you! To be fair, if you wouldn't run right into the middle of a ten-man battle, this probably wouldn't happen.